Soap Box

One of the biggest issues at my Fall Choral Concert in early November was the poor etiquette of the audience and students during the performances. It seemed to be worse this year than last year. I received many compliments on the concert, and sadly, several complaints that the audience (and students) weren't behaving properly. I addressed the issue with my choirs.
Fast forward to tonight. I went to the Jule Collins Smith Art Museum to hear the East Alabama Children's Choir. The EACC is a newly formed choir led by Gayle Smith, of the Auburn Smith choral dynasty. The choir is made up of students in fourth through ninth grades. It's mainly a treble choir and has about thirty six members. It's everything I want my afterschool choir to be. We're just not there, not even close. The EACC is good, very good. As I said, the performnance this evening was held in the main hall of the art museum. If you've ever been there you know that it's got marble floors, marble walls, and a high ceiling; an acoustical heaven.
As they began singing, their glorious treble sound rang all the way to the back of the hall. There wasn't a bad seat in the house, acoustically speaking. As I stood against the left wall, I prepared my ears for the beauty they were about to receive. Suddenly, two women behind me started talking. A child ran in front of me. A mother's shoes squeaked as she shifted her rain soaked soles. Every sound grabbed my attention and violently yanked it away from the choir. I was frustrated. I've come to the conclusion that the general public does not know how to handle themselves in a musical performance. I don't expect everyone to listen as intently as I do, but at least they could sit still for three minutes at a time so those that are listening intensely have a chance to soak it up. I'm not asking for silence the entire time. It is okay to shift, talk briefly, open a piece of candy, clear your throat, etc in between pieces. However, when a conductor takes the stand to begin a piece of music, art is happening. This art is incredibly valuable. It lasts for only a few moments, then it's gone. Sure, you could record it, but it's never the same. We wouldn't walk up to a painter while he/she is painting and interrupt him/her with a cacophony of bodily noises, coughing right before a brush stroke, talking while they are envisioning their next move. So why can't people just freakin' sit still during a piece of music? So, here comes my quick list of things to do and not to do during a musical performance.

Things to do:
1. Sit quietly and listen

Things NOT to do:
1. Talk to yourself, your unruly child, or your neighbor
2. Text or otherwise access your cellular device
3. Cough or incessantly clear your throat
4. Rustle your program, open a piece of candy, or jangle a bracelet
5. Get up to go to the bathroom (Wait to go between pieces. Likewise, if you are out in the lobby and would like to return to your seat, please wait until the current piece being performed is finished.)
6. If your child is misbehaving, promptly remove them from the auditorium or performance venue. Especially if it's a crying baby, because I might come stuff my sock in its mouth.
7. Do anything other than sit quietly and listen.

Of course, I'm referring to classical music performance scenarios such as choral concerts, band concerts, recitals, etc. I know it seems extreme, but the audience deserves silence. Even more so, the performers deserve a pristine canvas on which to paint their picture.

Ok. Everyone breathe. I'm done.