The Bizarro Landscapers

In the comic world, a bizarro is an evil version of a normally good superhero. So, for instance, Bizarro Superman is an evil version of Superman.

As you probably know, school is out. I'm no longer a music teacher for the next couple of months. So, in the meantime, I'm a landscaper and camp counselor. Today was my first day back on the job with Cater Design and Landscape. When we think of a landscaper, we typically think of one who is a friend to all plants. And, normally, he is. Today, however, I witnessed the dark side of landscaping. I learned today that landscaping is not simply allowing all plants to grow in peace and harmony. Nay, landscaping is man exerting his dominance over all earthly grown things. Our task today was to weed eat a large overgrown natural area, then spray it with commercial grade herbicide, and cover it with straw. Dad dropped me and Pablo off at the job site, got things going, and then prepared to leave to get some more supplies. Before he left, he pulled me aside and said, "Okay, put the backpack sprayer on and spray behind Pablo's weed-eater. Spray everything that's green." You know that scene in many action movies where the main antagonist instructs his minions, "kill everything that moves. Leave none alive." That's what this was, except for plants. I suited up, and set off to murder helpless plants with a spray of deadly poison. Oh, hi little sapling... POISON. Oh, a tall flowery looking thingPOISON! It was a veritable scorched earth policy. I killed it all. (insert evil laugh here). That was only phase one.

After the earth was scorched and covered, we had to deal with the half pallet of sod we had bought and didn't really know where to put. Boss man said put it in front of the house in between the house and the natural area (scorched earth). We called him a few times to try and get him to clarify, but we still weren't very clear. The grass in said location was splotchy and dying in spots, but half a pallet's worth? Oh well, boss man's orders. Dad begin tilling up the ground to rip up the old turf. We replaced the sod, but still had twenty or thirty pieces of sod sitting on the trailer that would go to waste if we didn't use it. So, Dad found another spot and begin to till. When he cut the motor off, he looked up at me and said, "Well, that was the senseless killing of good grass." Bizarro.