Gesundheit

I was walking toward the Fine Arts building on my way back from lunch when a student I taught first semester, but no longer teach passed me on the left. We'll call him... Jimmy.

"Oh Mr. Cater!" he exclaimed.
"Yo!"
"Can plants sneeze?" he asked.
"Huh?"
"I said, can plants sneeze?"

Perfectly positioned between myself and Jimmy is a large sapling, perhaps of the conifer family. What better way to find the answer to this riddle than to ask a plant itself? I cupped my hand to my ear and leaned toward the tree, hoping to catch it in the act of spastically expelling its nasal passages.

"I SAID, CAN PLANTS SNEEZE!!?" Jimmy must have confused my gesture.
"No, I don't think so," I replied.

Jimmy huffed and puffed, frustrated that his hypothesis had been so scientifically disproven.

"Well, I bet they sneeze underground!" he asserted as he walked away.

Ah, science.