I spent this week doing what many choir directors nationwide are probably doing: voice checks. It's essentially taking inventory of my choristers. A band director knows pretty quickly what he or she is working with (twelve clarinets, eight flutes, six trombones, etc). It's not as easy with a choir. A choir director can pretty much only see that he has x number of boys and x number of girls. From there, he must hear each singer individually to get a sense of things like range, tone, confidence, and overall ability. It takes time. I like to spend five or six minutes on each one. I take the one on one time to get to know the kids a little better. What do they do in their spare time? Do they have any pets? Things like that.
The main thing I've noticed, and it seems to be true for most of humanity is that people are really shy about singing. I do voice checks in my office, separate from the rest of the class. My students are still shy and nervous about singing in front of only me! Why is this? I understand that some of these kids have never sung in a choir before. I'm asking more along the lines of: Why is it an innate thing in humans to be self-conscious of their singing voice? It has caused me to ponder many lofty questions this week. Does our singing voice represent some guarded place deep within us that, once it is out or gets heard, we can never have back? But people sing in the shower, in the car, on the toilet. Are we born thinking that a singing voice is a rare delicacy of which only its owner is allowed to partake? Why are these kids coming into my office with sweaty palms, stiff shoulders, and wandering eyes? I have not yet found these answers. Thus, I'm left with a broad, yet beautifully simple conclusion: the human voice is a sacred instrument. Were it not, it would be far less guarded, protected. So, when people sing for us, perhaps we should feel honored. They are letting us into a secret place within them.
"Music is the purest form of art... therefore true poets, they who are seers, seek to express the universe in terms of music... The singer has everything within him. The notes come out from his very life. They are not materials gathered from outside."
- Rabindranath Tagore, Indian poet, playwright, and essayist
5 comments:
Beautifully put, and I couldn't agree more...the human voice is a sacred instrument. I was one of those scared kids...lets be honest, I am a scared adult when it comes to sharing my singing voice with others. I realize it is a distinct gift from God, but oh how often pride keeps me from taking that leap into sharing that gift with others.
As a child I sang in all the places you mentioned (I distinctly remember singing church praise music in the bathroom when I was about 7). I learned to love and read music at an early age...but when it came to sharing my vocal instrument with others I had NO confidence in my abilities. That is, until a persistent middle school choir director encouraged me to try out for all state choir. I tried out, thinking the whole time I wouldn't make it...but I did. And it totally changed my opinion of my singing abilities. Had that choir director not encouraged me, I'd probably still be singing only in private places for myself. Now I sing in two groups at church and an occasional solo when my confidence is high.
Never forget what a powerful role you play in the musical aspirations and futures of those scared kids. Most of all - keep up your good work. Years from now one of them will thank you.
I, for one, am not shy with my singing. I recall once 3 years ago in Ms Mayhall's church choir (singing 2 services) that I felt like I butchered my bass part on the anthem. During the break between services I asked her to rehearse the bass line with me. IT WAS so cool having her play piano and me sing the bass. She began by checking me for "tone deafness" and then proceeded with playing while I sang. I would have to say I learned more in that 6 minute session than all the hours of Wed. rehearsals. I was not nervous at all. I wanted so badly to contribute to the choral performance of the anthem. And when she rocks....we roll. There becomes a oneness, a teamwork of voices melded as one voice....sort of like when I played high school football, but not really! I guess one has to ezperience it in order to fully understand it. In a word, MAGNINICAT !!
I think John wishes I would be a little more guarded with my singing voice :)
Interesting observation! I, too, was one of those people who was embarrassed to sing in "my real voice" (as my best friend Denise used to say). I knew I could carry a tune, but didn't think (still don't) that my voice was "pretty". I loved singing with a choir or a group of 2-3 people where I could just harmonize and be anonymous. I still feel that way to an extent, but my "breakthrough" came in my 20's when I decided to try out for the chorus of a community theater production of "South Pacific" and ended up with the lead! Freaked me out, but it was so intriguing that I had to do it. It was so much fun and I was actually able to sing solos without cringing at myself that I ended up doing 2 more musicals! I now know that I don't have a solo voice (like your beautiful voice), but I can sing joyfully and confidently in a choir or small group and enjoy it immensely. You probably don't understand this because you have never. . .and I mean NEVER. . .been shy or self-conscious about singing alone in front of people. That has always amazed me and has always inflated my already enormous pride in you. You are doubly blessed to have the gift of a gorgeous voice, AND the gift/privilege/responsibility of instilling the joy and confidence of singing to kids who are at an age where they need anything that makes them feel better about themselves. You can only glimpse at the positive influence and lifelong love of music that you give them. You just ROCK, my boy!
i sang in choirs from the time that i was very young until i graduated high school. my confidence carried on for a while - but it has been so long since those days, that all that is long gone. even though i sang solos, duets, lead soprano - you name it - i still had no confidence in a practice setting. something about a small group of people - or even just one person - staring at you, and you can look back and see them staring.
all that talent is gone with the wind, in my case, but i can see where your students are coming from, even those who love to sing. it ain't easy!
and i loooove what your mom wrote here - still loving her!
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